Friday, January 21

16.7 POUNDS

No, that was not the average size of the briskets served at the Black Tie and Boots Ball. It's actually (drum roll, please) the size of a giant baby boy born to a woman in Brazil. That's the equivalent of a normal six-month old. When the doctor slapped the newborn on his backside to elicit a cry to clear his lungs, the baby knocked him out with a right cross to the chin, then demanded a gallon of milk and a dozen Krispy Cream donuts to go.